Thursday, November 15, 2018

19 classical music dad jokes ...

... you’re going to hate yourself for laughing at


By Maddy Shaw Roberts, ClassicFM London
10K
These timeless classical music jokes are so bad, your dad probably invented them. Did you hear the one about the tuba glue?
  1. Beethoven's favourite fruit

  2. How drummers name their daughters

  3. A classic

    Chopin, Chopout
    Chopin, Chopout. Picture: Unknown
  4. That time Bach couldn't contain himself

  5. *pretends to laugh*

    J.S. Bach's organ works
    J.S. Bach's organ works. Picture: Pinterest
  6. This is too much

    Mahler, smahler
    Mahler, smahler. Picture: Unknown
  7. Brass lolz

  8. Golden.

  9. Sorry, sops

  10. So baaaad it's good

    Tubas
    Tubas. Picture: Unknown
  11. Eric Whitacre, forever churning out the dad jokes

  12. Genius

    Murdered piano
    Murdered piano. Picture: John Finnemore
  13. Good jokes get better with age

    Haydn
    Haydn. Picture: Classic FM
  14. Too accurate.

  15. My new life mantra

  16. Pure garbage

  17. So punny

  18. This is truly terrible

    B minor
    B minor. Picture: Unknown
  19. Best kitchen ever


Did you know Mozart's middle name ...

... isn’t really Amadeus?

By ClassicFM London
Turns out Mozart’s middle name and popular moniker, Amadeus, might have originated as a joke. Here’s the back story.
Mozart was baptised as (deep breath)… Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart.
At its root, Amadeus comes from the third of his long line of middle names, Theophilus: a Greek name meaning ‘lover of God’ or ‘loved by God’. In its German form, it translates as ‘Gottlieb’ while in Latin, it becomes ‘Amadeus’.
During his lifetime, Mozart signed some letters in mock Latin as ‘Wolfgangus Amadeus Mozartus’, adding ‘us’ to the end of each name. In Italy around 1770, this morphed into Wolfgango Amadeo, which later became Wolfgang Amadè from about 1777.
It was deemed pretty normal to translate your name into other languages in Mozart’s day. Joseph Haydn went by Josephus (Latin) and Giuseppe (Italian), while Ludwig van Beethoven published some works as Luigi (Italian) and Louis (French.)
Mozart; Amadeus
Mozart; Amadeus. Picture: Getty
Mozart seemed pretty attached to his nickname. On his marriage certificate to Constanze Weber, he signed his name ‘Wolfgang Amade Mozart’.
But Amadeus was just that – a nickname. Aside from his wedding contract, only once during his lifetime was Mozart referred to as ‘Wolfgang Amadeus’ in an official document. In 1998, Mozart scholar Michael Lorenz found a document dated May 1787, in which ‘Mozart Wolfgang Amadeus’ is referred to in conjunction with his friend, Franz Jakob Freystädtler.
The day Mozart died, on 5 December 1791, his name was entered in the records of the Vienna Magistrate as ‘Wolfgang Amadeus’. Seven years later, the publishing company Breitkopf & Härtel produced an edition of Mozart’s complete works under the name – but the real dominance of ‘Amadeus’ began around 1810, 19 years after the composer’s death.
Romantic writers and authors used the nickname to proclaim their worship for Mozart, eventually turning ‘Amadeus’ into everyone’s preferred nickname for the classical giant.

Friday, November 9, 2018

Niccolo Paganini was such a gifted violinist ...

... people thought he sold his soul to the devil

By Maddy Shaw Roberts, Classic FM London
Some thought he was a metaphorical musical God, others thought he literally got his virtuosity from a deal with the Devil. But what was the real story behind Niccolò Paganini’s genius?
Born on 27 October 1782 in Genoa, Italy, Niccolò Paganini was an incredibly gifted musician, and is widely considered one of the greatest violinists of all time.
He started playing the mandolin aged five, before taking up the violin aged seven and giving his first public performance aged 11 in Genoa. At the age of just 15, he started playing solo tours.
The 19th century produced a number of extraordinary violinists – but none like Paganini. His talent was so beyond that of his peers that people started to believe he had made a pact with the devil.
It was even rumoured that Paganini’s mother had sold his soul to the devil so he could become the greatest virtuoso in history. 

Here’s the real story.

Aged 13, Paganini was sent to study with famous violinist and teacher, Alessandro Rolla. Rolla quickly saw Paganini’s talent, and decided there was nothing else he could teach him. So, he passed him onto his own teacher, Ferdinando Paer – who later referred him to his teacher, Gasparo Ghiretti.
The young Paganini was clearly a child prodigy. But when 15-year-old Paganini embarked on solo tours, he had a breakdown and turned to alcoholism.

Niccolò Paganini
Niccolò Paganini – or not. This is a famous fake daguerreotype (early photograph) of the violinist. Picture: Getty

The violinist’s fame slowly turned him into a heavy gambler, drinker and a serial womaniser. A rumour even spread that Paganini had murdered a woman, used her intestines as violin strings and imprisoned her soul within the instrument. Women’s screams were said to be heard from his violin when he performed on stage.
One thing was for sure: Paganini’s skill on the violin was unparalleled. He was one of the first solo violinists to perform publicly without sheet music, choosing instead to memorise everything.
Known particularly for his fiendish 24 Caprices for Solo Violin, Paganini helped popularise certain string techniques such as bow bounces – spiccato – as well as left-hand pizzicato and harmonics. He also purposely mistuned strings to make certain pieces easier to play.
It is said he could play 12 notes per second – a feat later achieved by violinist David Garrett, who plays Paganini in The Devil’s Violinist, a 2013 film based on the composer’s life story.

The Devil incarnate

Paganini was a striking man with hollow cheeks, pale skin and thin lips. He was very tall and thin, and often dressed in black.
He also had very long, thin fingers and without the restriction of performing with sheet music, he flailed about on stage, earning him the nickname ‘Rubber man’.
It is now believed that Paganini’s unusual finger length, which allowed him to play three octaves in one hand span, was due to Marfan syndrome, a genetic disorder. Equally, his ability to play at incredible speed could be attributed to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disorder which causes joint hypermobility.
The violin was also regarded by some as the devil's instrument, so all in all, it's not surprising that rumours about a deal with the devil started circulating. Some even thought Paganini could be the Devil himself.
One of the first rumours came out of a concert in Vienna, where one audience member said they thought they had seen the devil helping Paganini play. People soon began claiming to have doppelgängers of Paganini with horns and hooves.
It was even said that the Devil once made lightning strike the end of Paganini’s bow during a performance.

A replica of Paganini's hand
A replica of Paganini's hand. Picture: Getty

How did Paganini die?

Paganini was sickly for much of his later life. He contracted syphilis in 1822, which was treated with mercury, leading to further health problems.
In 1834, he caught tuberculosis and recovered shortly after. But later that year, he found himself getting weaker and decided to retire from public performance, aged 54, and spent his last years teaching the violin.
Paganini died of larynx cancer on 27 May, 1840 in Nice, France. Before his death, he turned away a priest offering him last rites, the final prayers Catholics receive at the end of their lives.
Paganini said he turned the priest away was because he thought he wasn’t going to die – but those who believed he was in league with the devil didn’t buy this explanation.

Niccolò Paganini with his violin
Niccolò Paganini with his violin. Picture: Getty

A week later, Paganini died without receiving the last rites and his local church refused to bury his body on consecrated ground – even though he was a member of the Order of the Golden Spur.
Over the next four years, his corpse would be transported on an extraordinary tour of Europe. His embalmed body was left on his deathbed in Nice for two months, before it was transferred to the cellar of the house, where it remained for over a year.
After his local church refused to bury him, his body was later taken to an abandoned leper house, before being moved to a cement vat in an olive oil factory and later to a private house near Nice.
Almost four years after his death, Pope Gregory XVI allowed the violinist’s body to be transported to Genoa, and he was finally laid to rest in La Villetta Cemetery in Parma, Italy – some 200km from his birthplace in Genoa.

Friday, October 26, 2018

This piano fell off a stage ...

... 90 minutes before a concert and it’s too distressing for words


Piano off stage
0
A concert grand piano plunged from the stage to the floor just 90 minutes before pianist Stefan Vladar was due to play a Brahms concerto on it.
Look at the absolute horror of this
Back in 2015, this very distressing picture was posted to Facebook by pianist Iva Návratová on Saturday as preparations for an orchestral concert in Frickingen, Germany. 
It makes us feel like this:

What in the holy name of Bösendorfer happened?!
This is how Iva describes the incident:
piano damage

But it’s OK, guys

Stefan Vladar reportedly was able to perform the Brahms concerto on the piano. The damage was mostly external: it’ll need a new lid and perhaps some tweaking inside. It’s a Steinway piano, which means it’s exceptionally hardy. Here’s the list of damages:

piano damage

Friday, October 19, 2018

Famous composers' mothers


So if Beethoven was completely deaf ...

... how did he compose?

By ClassicFM London
Ludwig was still pumping out the masterpieces - even when he was completely deaf. Here's how he did it.
"For the last three years my hearing has grown steadily weaker..." - so wrote Beethoven, aged 30, in a letter to a friend.  
The young Beethoven was known as the most important musician since Mozart. By his mid-20s, he had studied with Haydn and was celebrated as a brilliant, virtuoso pianist.
By the time he turned 30 he had composed a couple of piano concertos, six string quartets, and his first symphony. Everything was looking pretty good for the guy, with the prospect of a long, successful career ahead. 
Then, he started to notice a buzzing sound in his ears - and everything was about to change.
German composer Ludwig van Beethoven

How old was Beethoven when he started going deaf?

Around the age of 26, Beethoven began to hear buzzing and ringing in his ears. In 1800, aged 30, he wrote from Vienna to a childhood friend - by then working as a doctor in Bonn - saying that he had been suffering for some time: 
"For the last three years my hearing has grown steadily weaker. I can give you some idea of this peculiar deafness when I must tell you that in the theatre I have to get very close to the orchestra to understand the performers, and that from a distance I do not hear the high notes of the instruments and the singers’ voices… Sometimes too I hardly hear people who speak softly. The sound I can hear it is true, but not the words. And yet if anyone shouts I can’t bear it."
Beethoven tried to keep news of the problem secret from those closest to him. He feared his career would be ruined if anyone realised.
"For two years I have avoided almost all social gatherings because it is impossible for me to say to people 'I am deaf'," he wrote. "If I belonged to any other profession it would be easier, but in my profession it is a frightful state."
Once Beethoven was out for a country ramble with fellow composer Ferdinand Ries, and while walking they saw a shepherd playing a pipe. Beethoven would have seen from Ries's face that there was beautiful music playing, but he couldn't hear it. It's said that Beethoven was never the same again after this incident, because he had confronted his deafness for the first time.
Beethoven could apparently still hear some speech and music until 1812. But by the age of 44, he was almost totally deaf and unable to hear voices or so many of the sounds of his beloved countryside. It must have been devastating for him. 
'Das Leben des Beethoven' Directed by: Hans Otto
Picture: Still from 'Das Leben des Beethoven' (1927)

Why did Beethoven go deaf?

The exact cause of his hearing loss is unknown. Theories range from syphilis to lead poisoning, typhus, or possibly even his habit of plunging his head into cold water to keep himself awake.
At one point he claimed he had suffered a fit of rage in 1798 when someone interrupted him at work. Having fallen over, he said, he got up to find himself deaf. At other times he blamed it on gastrointestinal problems.
"The cause of this must be the condition of my belly which as you know has always been wretched and has been getting worse," he wrote, "since I am always troubled with diarrhoea, which causes extraordinary weakness."
An autopsy carried out after he died found he had a distended inner ear, which developed lesions over time.
Here's Beethoven's famous Symphony No.5, written in 1804. Its famous opening motif is often referred to as 'fate knocking at the door'; the cruel hearing loss that he feared would afflict him for the rest of his life. 

What treatment did Beethoven seek for his deafness?

Taking a lukewarm bath of Danube water seemed to help Beethoven's stomach ailments, but his deafness became worse. "I am feeling stronger and better, except that my ears sing and buzz constantly, day and night."
One bizarre remedy was strapping wet bark to his upper arms until it dried out and produced blisters. This didn't cure the deafness—it only served to keep him away from his piano for two weeks.
After 1822, he gave up seeking treatment for his hearing. He tried a range of hearing aids, such as special hearing trumpets. Take a look:
Hearing Trumpets

If he couldn't hear, how did he write music?

Beethoven had heard and played music for the first three decades of his life, so he knew how instruments and voices sounded and how they worked together. His deafness was a slow deterioration, rather than a sudden loss of hearing, so he could always imagine in his mind what his compositions would sound like.
Beethoven's housekeepers remembered that, as his hearing got worse, he would sit at the piano, put a pencil in his mouth, touching the other end of it to the soundboard of the instrument, to feel the vibration of the note.
beethoven's piano

Did Beethoven's deafness change his music?

Yes. In his early works, when Beethoven could hear the full range of frequencies, he made use of higher notes in his compositions.  As his hearing failed, he began to use the lower notes that he could hear more clearly. Works including the Moonlight Sonata, his only opera Fidelio and six symphonies were written during this period. The high notes returned to his compositions towards the end of his life which suggests he was hearing the works take shape in his imagination.
Here's Beethoven's Große Fuge, Op. 133, written by the deaf Beethoven in 1826, formed entirely of those sounds of his imagination.

Did Beethoven continue to perform?

He did. But he ended up wrecking pianos by banging on them so hard in order to hear the notes.
After watching Beethoven in a rehearsal in 1814 for the Archduke Trio, the composer Louis Spohr said: "In fortepassages the poor deaf man pounded on the keys until the strings jangled, and in piano he played so softly that whole groups of notes were omitted, so that the music was unintelligible unless one could look into the pianoforte part. I was deeply saddened at so hard a fate."
When it came to the premiere of his massive Ninth Symphony, Beethoven insisted on conducting. The orchestra hired another conductor, Michael Umlauf to stand alongside the composer. Umlauf told the performers to follow him and ignore Beethoven's directions.
The symphony received rapturous applause which Beethoven could not hear. Legend has it that the young contralto Carolina Unger approached the maestro and turned him around to face the audience, to see the ovation.
This is how the moment might have looked, with Gary Oldman playing Beethoven in the film, Immortal Beloved: